Random Thoughts

So Honey Dust (Strawberry and Champagne) is so totally fantastic!
Comes in other flavors but strawberry is the best!
I love it.

My nails (which I grew out and look sooo fabulous) sometimes make typing hard to do.

Vampire Diaries is horrible IT is horrid…. What teenagers will watch these days its pathetic I mean really if twilight wasn’t bad enough. Bad acting, stupid plot, ridicules lines…. You watch out of sheer disgust.

(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
(518): you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
~ http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
I just think that is hysterical.

(305): You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter ~BEST ONE YET

Paranormal Activity…. SOMETHING I WILL NEVER EVER WATCH

My College BFF and I always do Halloween together this year in Miami
It will be epic

Almost finished with my Theses Paintings
Just 3 left and all I want to do is play….
All due Nov 18th then they show December 4 for Art Basle

I want to see “I hope the serve beer in hell” by Tucker Max

O ladies best bronzer on the market is called “Flirty Little Secret”
I am all into it!

Who did you have sex with hooker?

I woke up to this lovely text from my best most wonderful amazing fantastic friend ever.

“I had my first orgasm ever last night! I think it was just that I had to relax and go with flow”
My response was “Bitch your single! Who are you fucking?”
Her response “lol a littlie bit of slut never hurt anyone”

It was then I realized I wanted to get "a little bit of slut in me"… which yeah I could get if I wanted to be slutty but I don’t. Which puts me at an impass. My conclusion Damn me and my non slutty behavior... FML So not fun. So instead of calling up some willing guy I placed in the friend’s category... I went to the gym, then to work, then I painted some more and while all those things are fabulous sex would have been nice.... Exspecially since while at the gym she called me up and gave me a play by play and I now am aware that she is sleeping with a sexual god.

OH also i too can experaince the wounders of the sexual god if i ever want to go over and have a three some with them.

Which again is not my thing.

I think my BFF chose the more instant gratification option so jealous though I know its not my thing...

Welcome to the fun house.

I don't know if i would ever date a nurse. Its very sexiest of me but I'm old school, nurses are primarily female in my book i just don't know how i would feel about a male nurse? Why not go for the Doctor? Though I am not a fan of Doctors generally speaking the ones in Miami are dirty old men with wives and sons my age yet they hit on every attractive female! Example, my 30 year married aunt who is in pharmaceutical sales was doing her JOB and was in a suit dress and one the nasty little neurologist who is 65 whispered "what are you trying to do to me in that outfit" in her ear! I mean come on! How tired. I know there are plenty of slutty girls prancing around with implants and a low IQ but you can tell the difference between a class act and something you throw away. But a nurse I just don't know, other than the sexiest thing I don't really have an idea about them. Love Lawyers by the way. He was a yummy ER nurse even though I don't think he reached my 6 foot rule. How was i in the ER? That is something of a story.
My roommate is this totally type A recently retired college athlete. Her coach trained her to always be in training i.e strict diet excessive work out routine add that to her mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive loser of a boyfriend and she now is in therapy. So yesterday after a few days of constant emotional and verbal abusive from her boyfriend she was in therapy and had a bad day so they said she should go to the hospital cause i guess suicided was discussed. It went something like this: 

Therapist "Have you had suicided thoughts" 

Patent "thoughts maybe"

Therapist "Have you made any plans?" 

Patent "No"

Therapist "if you were going to kill yourself how would you"

Patent "i don't know i haven't made any plans"

Therapist "Would you take pills or slit your wrist?" 

Patent "I haven't really thought about it "

Therapist "Would you slice vertically or horizontally?" 

Patent "My wrist? "

Therapist "AH HA you are suicidal you have thought details"

So than they tried to check her in to the crazy house "she was like I don't think so" they BAKER activated her Which means they can hold her against her will for up to 72 Hrs. She got to ride in the back seat of a cop car to the ER were they held her hostage under the pretense of haveing some Pysco-therapist come in to evaluate her. So i went to break her out of the fun house and they wouldn't let me. They held her hostage! The cops kidnapped her, then the hospital held her hostage! And then they tried to kick me out of the ER. I held a sit in, I sat in the hall looking sad and kept talking about how they kidnaped her. It was hysterical. One Nurse kept trying to send me away Which they had no right to do, I was well within my rights to be able to hang out with her till the head doctor got there and she was hyperventilating. They stuck her next to this dude who was strapped down with cuffs! The other nurse (the one with awesome arms) Kept hitting on me. I kept smirking and talking about how she was being held hostage. I stayed all night. And then they transfered her to a psychward for 3 days. How did this happen to such a sweet girl? And how do you get ride of poison like her boyfriend?

What is with Liberals wanting to date me??

Alright my internet lovers,

As you know I am an ice cold conservative (I even have the shirt) yet socially liberal and I care about the environment even though I rock a SUV. I am not to concerned with who everyone else sleeps with or what (as long as its not animals or children or forced that’s all bad). But I do believe in separation of church and sate and Marriage is a religious thing. Really you shouldn’t want Marriage you should be propaganda-ing towards making Civil Unions hold the same value as Marriages. Not changing people’s religious beliefs. Just saying but I don’t particularly care. My things are abortion,(no killing babies or kicking puppies) Capitalism, Freedom and protecting the Constitution Its why America is so ridiculously sexy.

That being said a huge past time of mine is mocking liberals. Like severely, if there was an AA meeting for mocking liberals I would go… well no I wouldn’t because it entertains me; and they deserve to be mocked. I like laughing at them saying ridiculous things, getting a rise. Sometimes I mock them then shoo them away like they are some smelly animal you don’t want near you. But let’s face it with the Obama mess it is just too easy to mock them, you kind of have to. The idiots who voted for him bought into the hype/propaganda did not make an intelligent educated decision and now we are all suffering. There are consequences for there actions and we are all suffering for it so I have no sympathy even if they regret their decision they screwed us all. Bad liberal drones! (with poutty lips & finger shake)

Now fellows out of all the gorgeous slutty girls in Miami that have fake tits and no brains and would welcome your ridiculous liberal come ons, and believe that nonsense about your bank accounts (or your fathers). Why hit on me? Yes I am gorgeous no I am not slutty I haven’t had any plastic surgery and I think for myself preferring to make my own money rather than take yours. If that isn’t enough of a turn off my complete indifference to you should be. I mean really at this point I am a bit picky and yes I carry the title of Ms First date but rarely a second but you have to realize something

Dating a liberal will never happen!!!

You can be tall, dark, sexy, suave, charming, fun, fantastic, motivated, fiscally responsible, maybe even a six pack with great arms, an independent thinker, steadfast, all those good dreamy qualities men in romance novels have (Though I tend to think that Conservative Men embrace these traits and liberals go with what’s trendy) but as long as you’re a liberal I just can not respect you. I may like you, think your sweet but I will always question your intelligence and therefore can not take you seriously. Sure you can take me places but no sugar for you. At all. Ever. In essence you become that fantastic gay man that all women want, a charming silly date that fawns all over us and receives nothing but our witty banter in return. As a liberal you are not even in the dreaded “Friend zone” you have become a nonsexual entity.

Now men if you try to charm you way into having adventures with me. The “I am not political card” Will not work! “Middle of the road” won’t work. Why?? I’ll tell you because really who wants to date a man that is too weak to develop a position on important issues and care about his country? Your not in the friend zone, your not in the nonsexual gay zone, your in the doesn’t matter zone. (basically you get shooed away and don’t even get to buy me things like men who in the friend zone or nonsexual zone do) By not making a decision you are actually worse than a liberal. You don’t have to side with me, but who wants to date Switzerland? I mean really.

Now if you are a conservative man, up to date on current events, witty, passionate about politics, charming, even if you are boring as hell, if you play golf… not just for business but because you like it! You my darling conservative have a chance because I respect intelligence over height, education over a sixpack, and patriots well freedom, Capitalism, fighting for pre Socialist Pre Obama America such a turn on.

What I am saying is, I may like to dance around in nothing more than high heels, a fedora, and a black boa but if you are in the M.O.B you might just get to dance with me

Really? You’re a fucking moron!

I mean seriously we hang out a few times, go on a few dates, I listen to your constant talking, we make out on the beach a few times, that is not seriously dating that is getting to know you dating. That’s all. Yeah I am a little indifferent but whatever. I don’t fall hard or fast or often if I am hanging out with you all it means is I find you entertaining, but really I can do the cat thing where you watch a piece of fluff floating around for hours and be happy. So it is not really you making me happy. I am generally just happy. However it is you that fucking irritates me. For instance when you go off on some tangent about my indifference and how you were an asshole (you really were why tell me these things) but your not anymore and how I should think before I do something stupid and put you in the friend zone and how you warned me that my indifference was bad and whatever. I don’t fucking care whatever like you said I am indifferent to that. But then don’t ever think you have a second chance. You get one. Only one, not two and essentially dumping me for my indifference was the end of your only chance with me. Don’t tell me how in the next few days you miss my sweetness and my giggles and don’t know why. Fuck you! You don’t deserve them. I mean what the fuck were you thinking? That you could lose it like that then charm me back?? Darling you’re not that charming. Yes it is nice the constant texting, emailing, and chatting but when you lost it you lost me and I don’t care anymore. However telling me about how you rebounded from an essentially a non existent relationship with me (which I don’t think warrants a rebound) then asking me when you can see me again is just total fucking disrespect. Saying I am not handling your dumping me well is a lewd spin on it. Saying asshole things and then telling me you miss me pisses me off. FUCK YOU I don’t care if you miss me. I don’t care if you regret your decision. But be happy I am not indifferent towards you any more. Now when I think about you “Fuck you!” Comes to mind.

Shirtless man pics

To all you sexy sexy men or more accurately boys, those shots of you all with out the shirt on that emphasize your muscles… I would never complain. Ever at all because eye candy is eye candy and that “V” is so yummy the thing is…. I see pic’s like that and instantly; I don’t care if you describe yourselves as “sweet” or “charming” or “sensitive” (like seriously sensitive please??? How gay) You are instantly placed in the cute, boy toy, maybe fun to look at it. I don’t really care if he has anything intelligent to say, but OMG he could be the hot pool boy that milf’s have affairs with category… you become like that purse dog a really Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine accessory… I just want to say… I love you like I love my new Prada bag…..Never ever change! The cyber world would be a very very boring place without shirtless man pics…

"I don’t want somebody to love me

just give me sex whenever I want it
Cause all ask for is instant pleasure."
What a great drinking on the beach songs…. brownie points if you can tell me who sings it! Though completely misleading its just hysterical!

Anyways so yeah what is with all this awful rain??? Actually I totally regressed this afternoon. I normally hate driving the rain since I flipped my convertible during a particularly nasty New York rain storm… But now I have this great SUV (sorry hippies and prius lovers) and while everyone else in Miami was avoiding puddles….. O yeah like a 16yr I was listening to this insane rough sex music mix that an ex made me (that i haven't listens to till now… like a year later… oops) Great mix though. It was fantastic so much fun! I came home and danced in the rain and now now... I am slightly chilled but whatever I am in an incredibly good energized mood… I think I am going to go find a buddy and dance in the puddles some more…

“Lets have a bachelor party with chicks and booze and guns and fire trucks...” this is an intro for what fantastically naughty rock song????

Oh yeah I want audience participation


OOOOOOOOOOO also If anyone has a working kayak they want to give me, I will totally adore you however briefly.

xoxox
~Gossip Girl (o yes i did.... ;) )